Cookin' with Coolio

Like many foodies and culinary professionals, I received a cookbook for Christmas from my cousin Ben. This one however has provided me hours of entertainment and that's not including the practice of creating dishes from the recipes. Cookin' with Coolio, is a collection of surprisingly nutritious and easy dishes with a twist from The Ghetto Gourmet, Coolio's nickname for himself.

For those not in the know, Coolio is a Grammy Award-winning and multiplatinum selling rap artist. He's also been the host of an Oxygen reality show, Coolio Rules, centered around his catering business and continued with an Internet cooking show, Cookin' with Coolio. There are several episodes of the show that align with recipes in the book.

I've outlined below the table of contents from Cookin' with Coolio and some key recipes in each chapter. The language may be offensive to some, for that I apologize. I wanted to accurately represent the language in the book.

I'll have to provide an update once I've hosted my own P Dallie Dalliscious party.

1. How to Become a Kitchen Pimp: Coolio calls himself the ghetto Martha Stewart and the black Rachael Ray. Coolio grew up a poor motherfucker, but as such he doesn't believe that fast food is the solution. As a result he wants to teach you and me how to properly molest a chicken. Additionally, "a Kitchen Pimp don't wanna wake up one day to find out that while he's been eatin' microwave oatmeal, his girl is eatin' somebody else's huevos rancheros." Rather, become a Casanova of the kitchen, a pimp of the pantry and a stunner on the stove. Women will swoon as you saute and fricassee. They'll melt as you baste and bake, and they way you flip omelets will make the bitches' knees shake.

2. Appetizers for that Ass: The purpose of appetizers is to "let your stomach know that a bunch of funkalicious food is about to get up in there." From this chapter, I made the Chicken Lettuce Blunts. They were a hit at the party and with my husband on the Atkins Diet at the time he was able to indulge. Other recipes include Bacon Rap'd Scallops (served with melted cheese), and Cool-a-cado.

3. Salad Eatin' Bitches: Coolio aims to make your vegetables sing sweeter than a songbird. Coolius Ceasar, made with Worchestershire sauce and hard boiled eggs left "to bathe for 15 minutes in hot water like a sexy Swedish chick," is a dish Coolio states he craves after chillin' with the Pope in Rome. Other recipes include Backyard Grass Salad. Invite some friends over and serve some grass.

4. Pimpin' the Poultry: Learn how to make chicken that doesn't just fall off the bone, it jumps off the bone. My Chicken is Having a Baby, Baby is a ground turkey stuffed chicken. The turkey meat is browned before stuffing with these instructions, "Flip it, stir it and spin it like a stripper on a pole." Also included, Kompton Fried Chicken, Coolio's version of KFC. It's made with crushed corn flakes, a variation my own mother used to make.

5. Sinful Steaks: Coolio assists in producing steak that tastes like Aberdeen Angus with only Ghetto Gourmet flavor and a couple dime bags of seasoning. Fork Steak was developed when Coolio only had a plastic fork and needed something so tender it wouldn't break. It's a braised pepper steak with onions, mushrooms, and garlic cooked in beer, "no watery lite beer." (All you wussey Miller Lite drinkers take note.) Take away the peppers and mushrooms, and replace with tomato sauce and you've got Steak Thru My Heart, Coolio's remedy for a lady who went with another man or a dog that went to heaven. Be sure to also try Unwrinkled Beef, made with flat iron steak, similar to the flat iron stomach on a good woman. Popcorn Steak is chopped and marinated. You gotta let the flavors coagulate motherfucker! Then it's floured and browned. I suggest eating the pieces out of a brown paper bag with your favorite movie.

6. It's Hard Out Here for a Shrimp: Ali Baba had forty thieves, but Ali Bubba ate forty shrimp. His recipe, Shrimp Ali Bubba, is shrimp sauteed with onion and garlic then poached in beer and chili powder, served over rice. Pimp My Shrimp is similar to cornmeal encrusted fried shrimp, but made with crushed corn flakes instead-- an interesting take... like a Southerner's panko. Cold Shrimpin' is a take on shrimp cocktail, boiled and chilled like Miles Davis. That's cold pimpin' and cold shrimpin'! Also included are Crabs in a Patty, "no, not the kind you're thinking." Oil My Mussels, U Can't See My Bass, Clam Me Down, and Yabba-Dabba Snappa are other tasty recipes I need to try.

7. Chillin' and Grillin': Grilled Ghettalian Breastesses are as I'm guessing you figured out chicken breasts, here served with Ghettalian Bread. The Ghetto Burger is served on cheap-ass white bread, something I reserve for my pulled pork sandwiches, and seasoned with salt, pepper, garlic and onion. Initally the meat is squeezed like creating a snowball to chuck at your boss' car. There's also a recipe for Alakazam'n Salmon and Coolio's Meatless Grilla. There are several vegetarian recipes and even an entire chapter devoted to it, meaning you can entertain for all the Coolio way.

8. Pasta Like a Rasta: Bro-ghetti uses a made-from-scratch beef sausage bolognese,although not exactly slow-cooked. Again, it's suggested to be served with Ghettalian Bread. Los Angel-es Hair Pasta is a shrimp lemon pepper pasta with a garlic white wine sauce, similar to shrimp scampi. This may be my next Ghettofabulous Adventure, if my husband kills his Adkins Diet soon.

9. Vegetarians? Okay, Whatever!: This includes I'm-Gonna-Slap-You-with-My-Whisk Tomato Bisque, Magical Fruit Soup (beans in case you didn't catch on) and some vegan dishes.

10. Sweet Treats for that Sweet Ass: For date night where the lady's dined on your Cooliotastic apps and entrees, what better way to ensure she stays the night and you can feed her a breakfast burrito? How about Sweet Chocolate Potato Pie or a Hot Fruit Sandwich?